Its been a while

It’s been a long time since i have actually taken an initiative of sitting down and penning my thoughts down. So how have things been? How have my thoughts been holding the defenses of my sanity? A lot to tell...


It all started when i finally secured a placement from my sorry -state- of - affairs college and was offered a post of Management Trainee in world’s largest media conglomerate called Group M. A milestone crossed, I lived rest of my days in an euphoric state of madness until I outlived my college life.

I was a man now in all senses. I was now expected to make a mark in the corporate world and was given an uphill task on managing my earnings and expenses. Yet, too disillusioned by a wonderful life ahead I forged ahead .. Never knowing that my world is going to change so much

2nd May 2008 : The day that changed it all

It’s been 9 months ever since my first day of my office . What has changed? A lot.. For Starters I was packed off to Mumbai from Gurgaon to handle the Mumbai operations . Another major factor that changed my life for worse is she moved off to US for her further education.

It’s really weird how i feel at this very particular moment.. .My mind is filled with random chain of thoughts that makes no sense when I sit down to write. Actually I wonder what should i write which would explain the hollowness inside me that’s eating me up day by day. I dont know what i should attribute the hollowness to .. Mumbai, My job , Her or lack of her . Or is it that i truly don’t belong in this place or the industry. I don’t know but all i know is that i can’t take it anymore. Every molecule of my existence is screaming out loud and begging to break free.


My will to live and die have long left my senses. I feel like a programmed mechanical device who is doing everything he has been programmed to do... I wonder is this the way life is supposed to be and if its going to get better...

They say “The night is darkest before the dawn”, and I believe them. It’s just that I don’t know for how long the night is going to cast its shadows.

My love life has been the whole and sole strength during these hard times. She has always been a beacon of hope for me .. It’s weird actually now that i think about it .. I have spent so much time thinking of what’s not right in my life.. I rarely paused to actually notice what’s right in my life.. I guess that’s why it’s said that the hardest arithmetic in life is to count ones blessing...

I just wish her to return as soon as possible. I am really incomplete without her. We are one in all senses. Now and forever